Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Blue!


Okay, I admit it. I'm blue, sad, in a funk, etc.... Why?
1) Kurt's away
2) still no job
3) 2 interviews for job today...one told me I was too expensive. i said nicely, "you get what you pay for." (with 10 years of strategic marketing experience, am I supposed to work for free?!?) the other one...I have to do "assignments" for and turn them in to get to the next level. WTF?!?! 4) nothing is interesting to me on the job hunt today.
5) I am not a stay at home Mom type...maybe if we had the funds...but I need adults to talk to!
6) this weather sucks! I have to be fair here...at least my part of NJ isn't flooded and it didn't really rain today.
7) I can't get anything done lately. Every flat surface we own is covered in clutter. It's not dirty, but the clutter is driving me crazy. I have a million projects I need to tackle, but when Kelsey is with me, then I really don't get much done beyond the kitchen and the laundry. when Kelsey is at daycare, I'm job hunting or trying to rest my back.
8) I am in the Mom "guilts" big time. I've been reading some of my favorite bloggers and they're happily reporting how they're schooling their girls. It never even occurred to me to try to do some kind of school for Kelsey to teach her little things like colors, shapes, etc. She's picking these things up on her own...but WHY didn't I think of this? Luckily, I did stumble on this and we're playing school starting tonight.
9) I'm sweating the small stuff...and the medium stuff...and the BIG stuff! it's not pretty :(
10) I'll tell you one thing the Y did give me...about 15 lbs back out of the almost 40 I dropped. Nice huh? That will teach me to work at a place where I sit at a computer all day except when I am lunching with a cute sized 2 26 year old! Just say NO! Grrrrr....I want to wear my cute blue suit again!

Here's a bonus one...
11) My birthday is less than 2 weeks away. Being the masochist I am, I always compare where I am this year to where I was last year. This year...no job and heavier with a lovely child I adore...but less free time for myself, no time with Kurt and we're cranky about it. Last year...a job I was sick of working with people I didn't respect. 15 lbs lighter than I am now. A new Mommy trying to figure it all out.

Kelsey, this has absolutely nothing to do with you. The best parts of my day are when you snuggle up to me and say "hi" sweetly or say something new that completely knocks my socks off. Right now I am not giving my best to anyone...although you're getting the closest to best that I have to offer. I wish I had more patience or was more fun. I want Kelsey to have the best Mom I can be...she so deserves it!

Being a "temporary" housewife is HARD and me no likey!

3 comments:

C.J. said...

This is one time when you can say 'nothing lasts forever' and it's a good thing.

I hope your funk packs its bags and hits the road soon.

Wayswin said...

You know... that I know almost exzactly what you are going thru.

But did you know that I love you?

If you want some laughs, you can read my back blogs from 2 years ago, job hunting and flirting with mental illness.

Be ready for change, change is good. Explore everything. I went from Safety/Environmental managment, to being Paco the Poolboy, and couldnt be happier.

The Blessing that is LIA said...

Everything is just temporary ....this will pass, and I am betting there are alot of parts of this you are going to miss. I do hope u are feeling better...if u want to talk, email...would love to catch up!

Love, Wendi