Tuesday, April 21, 2009

After THAT pity party...

I needed to get all that stuff out in writing so I could read it. I am truly grateful and appreciate for every comment and wonderful thought and prayer that all our friends, family and acquaintances have served up for us.

Here is the "half-full" perspective on this big glass...

1) Kelsey is happy and healthy. Even though she is testing our patience, this is all part of her new transition and also because she is 3. We will all get through this together.

2) My Mom is getting better slowly. We don't know what the "new normal" is now or what's going to happen. We are a family of planners so this is new and slightly scary for us. I am personally getting through by taking the "one step at a time" approach. We had to get Mom to the ICU, then out of ICU, then into rehab, and now we are thinking "out of rehab" and then she'll go to Janet's for a few weeks. Time will tell on this...Mom really wants to live in her house in TR, so this is motivating her.

3) So many people are out of work that there are all kinds of new programs opening up. I think it's not the worst thing that the layoffs came now because if they came later, it might be even harder to look for work. It is discourgaging and disappointing, but we didn't lose our jobs because we aren't talented smart people...we lost them because we had the misfortune of working in industries affected very badly by the first huge waves of the recession (auto and non profit)

4) Kurt and I are trying to enjoy the simpler family life more than ever. We were never jet-setters but we have scaled back some (and will do more soon) and are also in the process of creating an ebay business. We've had the beginnings of success. Next will be a yard sale (specifically to fund a brief summer vacation to NE this year - we HAVE to attend Kelsey's orphanage reunion and then we want to go visit Jimmy and Judy in Maine)

Everything happens for a reason, it's in God's hands and you just have to trust in the higher power. I certainly talk that talk and now I have to walk that walk better. As a "person who likes to be in control" this is a huge wakeup call that I am certainly not the one in charge here.

So again, thanks for stopping by and visiting here. Thanks for listening to me kvetch and vent. and thanks for thinking of our family and especially our beautiful girl!



Sunday, April 19, 2009

That old adage works here in blogland...

The old adage I'm referring to is "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all." So, I haven't....2009 has been the most awful challenging year of MY life (I won't speak for DH but I know he's not feeling the love for the year either) I'm going to do a simple topline of this...and know this has all happened to us this year.

January - I got sick Christmas eve and remained sick for an entire Month! Cold/sinus that turned into an ear infection. It sucked.

Early Feb - Kelsey got sick with a bad case of the flu, felt horribly conflicted because both Kurt and I needed to take time off with our girl to help her recover....she was really really sick with high fevers.

Mid Feb- I had a ticket and a car accident in Irvington. I love the teachers of Irv, but HATE the layout of the city...plus the car I hit the policeman wouldn't write the report and the guy didn't give me any information...he was in a store and claimed it was his car...wanted me to give him cash...ended up going through my insurance...that was a PITA.

Late Feb - some warnings of the bad stuff to come...

Very early March - I got the layoff call from my job. I was half expecting this because of the bad economy - my job would end at the end of March and my PTO would carry into April.

One week later - Got the worse news that all my org was at risk and the timing I thought I had, I didn't have any longer. I used up my PTO to finish up some stuff and still volunteered for some other projects I didn't get to complete

Mid March - I twisted my knee and had to have an MRI. My benefits ended on March 23. Luckily it's only the beginning of arthritis.

March 20 -My Mom was supposed to have an angiogram and perhaps a stint. She ended up being in congestive heart failure and a irregular heartbeat. My Brother came from Maine to help her out and extended his stay, but had to leave before everything was resolved. I begin the daily 2 hour round trip drives (her hospital was closer than her house is)

March 23 - Mom has angiogram and 1 stint

March 25 - Mom has 2 additional stints inserted

March 25 - Kurt received phone call from his co that 2/3 of his org has been laid off, including himself. No severance, and his benefits had been terminated before he was laid off. I am STILL FUMING OVER THAT!!!!

March 26 - Mom comes home from hospital. Kurt, Kelsey and I bring her home. My Aunt comes to stay with her

I had 3 interviews and wasn't offered any of the jobs (rare for me, but I guess not in this bad job situation anymore) however, I got a few phone calls from people wanting to speak with me and when I returned their calls - they NEVER CALLED ME BACK! I mean, yes this is a bad, stinking economy...but have some manners....if YOU call a possible job candidate and leave a voicemail saying you'd like to speak with them about a job...then HAVE THE DECENCY TO SPEAK WITH THEM WHEN THEY CALL YOU BACK!!!!!! It isn't such a stretch to think that people are NOT glued to their phones 24/7 is it?

April 4 - Happy Birthday Sis, Kelsey runs a fever and misses school. Her spring break is next week. we make some tentative plans for some inexpensive fun. I helped out at the Easter Egg hunt at Church today - it was fun.

April 5 -My Aunt leaves my Mom to go back home

April 6 -My Mom has a stroke. Due to her rapid irregular heartbeat. Luckily her neighbor realizes a problem and calls me and insists I come down. I left my house at 11:30AM, and find Mom confused, dizzy and disoriented. I take my Mom to her Dr. and he instructs me to take her to the local emergency room - We got there at 3pm. I leave at 10:30pm because they didn't know what time they'd be able to move her to a room. Mom was sleeping most of the time and I couldn't sit in the chairs anymore. (3 hour drive)

April 7 - My sister and I both drive down to the hospital. Mom is worse today and in the afternoon it got scary. She wasn't responding to any of us and they ended up moving her to the ICU for 5 days. We called my brother and he and his wife drove from Maine to TR in the late evening. They stayed until good Friday.

April 9 to 15 - Mom slowly starting to come back....much relief and happiness. We continue to make trip almost every day (3 hour round trip)

April 12 - Easter...tried to make this fun for Kelsey. Definitely didn't feel it this year, but I thanked God in Church that Mom was recovering and our daughter was healthy.

April 15 - Mom released to rehab in WO (an excellent center...family is thrilled and relieved!)

We're making the trip every other day now and this is only half and hour vs. an hour...such a relief! I have removed myself from volunteering at my former org because I was so stressed out over all the work that had to be done...I felt guilt on the day after my Mom had her stroke and was so unresponsive because I was supposed to attend an event that I had done all the work for...I honestly couldn't deal with that anymore.

Kelsey's spring break over and that poor little girl had about zero fun and no Mommy all week!

She's beginning to act out and get frustrated when she doesn't get her way RIGHT away and will begin the whining and crying for whatever "it" is. This makes Mommy and Daddy not very happy and I really lost my temper this AM.

So, that' really why I haven't been posting or available for much fun. I've been updating Facebook - it seems to be the easiest way to keep the lines of communication open.

So with Mom in the excellent hands of her rehab center, I can go back to hunting for a job...it's discouraging out here folks....

I'm leaving you with a photo of the love of our lives...which is what makes this all work...I can survive this all and overcome everything that life (and GOD) throws in my path as long as I have Kurt and Kelsey in my life.