Monday, May 25, 2009

A Recurring Dream....

I've had a dream quite a few times in the last few weeks....I dream that we have been given a referral for another daughter - once in China and last night she came from Korea. I see her photo and then all of a sudden she is in my arms, small and incredibly real and sweet. These dreams happen in the very early morning, right before I wake up. Every.single.time. I wake up sad and heartbroken because I would love to have a sister (or brother) for Kelsey. However, due to cirumstances beyond my control, this is off the table.

Today is particularly sad because today is our 12th anniversary, so formally marks 12 years when we began to try to have a family. Happy Anniversary Kurt, I love you and look forward to the next 12 and then the next 12 after that!

We are so blessed with Kelsey and I feel greedy to want another child, but if I just can't stop this nagging feeling that somewhere out there NOW is a child who needs us to be their forever family.

We had a great Memorial Day weekend, very low key and relaxed. The house is clean and I'm mostly caught up on the laundry. I'm looking forward to some more gardening this week.

Mom is still at my sister's home and having more challenges with her heart rate. My sister and I are starting to have conversations that aren't fun about going forward. At the end of June Mom has more Dr.'s appointments and we need to ask hard questions then.

Nothing has changed on the job front...let's hope June shakes some stuff loose.