Saturday, February 03, 2007

Referral Days Make Me Want to Adopt Again!

Hi All,
Yesterday China's last batch of referrals (babies) were delivered to all the new Mommies and Daddies who have been waiting over a year to see their bundles of joy's faces.

I love these days (once a month) and eagerly read about everyone's new babies. Many of the families who were in the same DTC group (April 2005) that I was are already in the process of another adoption.

Every time I hear about another "friend" adopting or see these angelic faces, it makes me REALLY want to start that process all over again.

Luckily for me, my smarter more rational husband has put the brakes on this for the time being. We are thrilled beyond belief to be parents finally. We love and adore our beautiful daughter, but raising a child takes a lot of work! More than anyone can really put into words (good thing "they" can't tell you how much you will love that child too!) plus I don't think Kelsey is a difficult child to raise (except for her ability to wake up at midnight wanting to snuggle with us!)

We are not in ready in many ways to begin this process again. It will take a lot of discussion before we make a rational decision one way or the other. Do we give her a sibling? There is no guarantee if having a brother or sister will be good for her. Some bio siblings are close and some are not. Some are downright disfunctional.

I consider this from only my own perspective. I would be a much sadder person if I were an only child. Even though there is a big age difference between my sister and brother and I, we are extremely close. My brother lives in Maine and we only see each other yearly, we are still close (and have become closer by blogging to each other!)

One of the most important ways that siblings can help each other is dealing with the aging parent, sick or dying parent. I am 44 years older than my daughter (I know I don't look it! :) and she may be younger than normal when she loses me or her father. I don't want her to feel lost and orphaned all over again! A sibling that she is close to would help. It really helped for me that Jim, Janet and I were there for each other when our Father died, even though we are all married to wonderfully supportive spouses, there is no one like a sibling to help you through that grief. Plus remembering all those good stories when you were kids is impossible without one!

If I were in my mid 30's or even 40, I would easily be able to wait to see if Kelsey even wants a sibling...but my adoptive "clock" is ticking loudly and I know we'll have to make this decision within the next two years.

Kelsey, when you read this in the future, let me know if we made the right choice by you :)

Another thing to consider is the idea that we could move to a town with a better school system that has a larger backyard for Kelsey to play in. Financially it would be challenging to move and adopt within a 2-3 year time period. I have a feeling we'll have to choose one or the other.

However, things could change for us...we could win the lottery, allowing us to adopt a few more children (and hire a Nanny!) and move to a great big house in a fantastic neighborhood! I feel strange praying to God for financial seems greedy, even though the cause behind it isn't. Time will tell in the next few years what's in the cards for our family.

As long as I am pipe-dreaming....we would definately want either China or Viet Nam for adoption #2 (I've aged out of the Philippine program already :(

I have been thinking of a sweet, cuddly baby boy lately. We might call him William, Liam for short. Or another baby girl, a sister for our Angel Face would also be lovely. Ava seems to be the Jennifer name of 2007 and I do like that name...or we could stay with the K names...

Kylie, Kendra, Katie Kaya?

Hey, did you know that both Kurt and I have Grandmothers named Rose? (His maternal and my paternal) All those baby girl names would go great with Rose :)

Life is good if this is all I have to worry about! Our jobs are going well, we treated ourselves to new bedroom furniture and I love our new mattress set!

Kelsey, of course, is doing so well. She is so much fun to come home to everynight! She is a book junkie and loves to "read" quite a few every day. She has more stuffed dog toys than I have earrings! (that's saying a lot!) Other than the normal daycare "runny nose" she's very healthy.

She's really picking up new words quickly. Once she got the walking stuff down pat, she dove into talking. And her voice is so sweet!

We are beginning to make plans for our first Valentine's Day together and also our first Chinese New Year celebrations! We have some great firsts/anniversaries on deck :)

I was thinking today that for the first time since Kurt and I decided to get engaged, we are no longer working on a major life goal...we married, have a house, finally have a child, I changed jobs last I should be able to kick back, count my many blessings and enjoy this time.

We'll see :)

p.s. Jimmy, we will definately be coming to Maine in late spring/early summer!


MKBookWorks said...

You are so right it is a tough decision- and for us age was the kicker! Both in terms of being to old to have a lot of time to mull over our decision AND the thought that EFP might be alone one day.. with no one who really knew what she was like as a child.. or to validate that her parents were exactly as insane as she remembers...;-)

It is not easy but once made it is wonderful!

Hugs... M. EFP & ??'s Mom

Our new baby Ashley Rose said...

Hi! I love to read your blogs! Everything you said is true! It is very hard taking care of one child . We are bleassed with our daughter and very happy with her. We talked about adopting again but we decided no because it would not be fair to her with anything she is doing right now in her life. And the money thing also takes a part in it too. it is so ture about sibling I have a brother we are 18 months apart . we are close. My mom is the oldest out 8 and sometimes they do not get along. it is hit or miss with Sibilings! Kelesey has changed alot since i saw her last ! She is so happy! you and kurt are doing a great job! God Bless you all!