My daughter grinds her teeth in her sleep!

It is the weirdest (as in the funniest) sound I've ever heard! And she's a tosser and turner in as well. DH is going to change her crib into a daybed this weekend. We chose the weekend because if it doesn't work well, we can change back before he leaves again on another trip.

Kelsey and I went to my sister's today, because quite frankly I needed the conversation and rest! My niece and nephew ran Kelsey all over the house (thanks Mikey and Rena!) so she had a great time playing with her cousins. And today I noticed Kelsey's hair is exactly the same color as her cousins! BTW, both are bio kids with medium dark hair.

My Sister and BIL just completed a home reno, adding another bedroom, bath closets and 2nd floor laundry. They did their kitchen first. I have to say it looks spectacular! My BIL, Michael is an artist with home improvement!

While I love their whole house, I have a confession....I am green with envy (or should I say RED) over their new laundry room! It's so cute with a built in ironing board, TV and black and white checked floor. The cherry on top is their matching front load washer and dryer in...cherry red natch! And on the 2nd floor right by their bedrooms. MAJOR BIG SIGH. But the TV made me laugh...they are the only family I know that has more TV's than I do! ;)

We recently replaced our washing machine after the old one gave out, but we didn't buy a bells and whistles set...our unfinished basement just doesn't warrant a sexy w/d.

On a somber note...my Sister's dog Sandy, a very sweet 12 year old cocker spaniel isn't well and the Dr's don't know what to do. She's breathing badly, drooling like mad and has been vomiting. Please say a special prayer for her...she's a great dog!

So in the peace and quiet of this warm and humid evening...picture me sitting in the dark, alone except for Kelsey quietly grinding her teeth for my amusement. I guess a ped dentist is in order!

Blue!

Okay, I admit it. I'm blue, sad, in a funk, etc.... Why?
1) Kurt's away
2) still no job
3) 2 interviews for job today...one told me I was too expensive. i said nicely, "you get what you pay for." (with 10 years of strategic marketing experience, am I supposed to work for free?!?) the other one...I have to do "assignments" for and turn them in to get to the next level. WTF?!?! 4) nothing is interesting to me on the job hunt today.
5) I am not a stay at home Mom type...maybe if we had the funds...but I need adults to talk to!
6) this weather sucks! I have to be fair here...at least my part of NJ isn't flooded and it didn't really rain today.
7) I can't get anything done lately. Every flat surface we own is covered in clutter. It's not dirty, but the clutter is driving me crazy. I have a million projects I need to tackle, but when Kelsey is with me, then I really don't get much done beyond the kitchen and the laundry. when Kelsey is at daycare, I'm job hunting or trying to rest my back.
8) I am in the Mom "guilts" big time. I've been reading some of my favorite bloggers and they're happily reporting how they're schooling their girls. It never even occurred to me to try to do some kind of school for Kelsey to teach her little things like colors, shapes, etc. She's picking these things up on her own...but WHY didn't I think of this? Luckily, I did stumble on this and we're playing school starting tonight.
9) I'm sweating the small stuff...and the medium stuff...and the BIG stuff! it's not pretty :(
10) I'll tell you one thing the Y did give me...about 15 lbs back out of the almost 40 I dropped. Nice huh? That will teach me to work at a place where I sit at a computer all day except when I am lunching with a cute sized 2 26 year old! Just say NO! Grrrrr....I want to wear my cute blue suit again!

Here's a bonus one...
11) My birthday is less than 2 weeks away. Being the masochist I am, I always compare where I am this year to where I was last year. This year...no job and heavier with a lovely child I adore...but less free time for myself, no time with Kurt and we're cranky about it. Last year...a job I was sick of working with people I didn't respect. 15 lbs lighter than I am now. A new Mommy trying to figure it all out.

Kelsey, this has absolutely nothing to do with you. The best parts of my day are when you snuggle up to me and say "hi" sweetly or say something new that completely knocks my socks off. Right now I am not giving my best to anyone...although you're getting the closest to best that I have to offer. I wish I had more patience or was more fun. I want Kelsey to have the best Mom I can be...she so deserves it!

Being a "temporary" housewife is HARD and me no likey!

Our Trip to Maine

Hi All,
Kelsey's napping and I'm doing laundry, so I thought I'd put up the next installation of our vacation. I still owe photos of Kelsey's birthday party, which came before the last post and this one, in addition to Heather's BBQ photos. Oh well.

After our China 130 reunion, we headed up to beautiful Maine. My brother Jim and his wife Judy have been married 11 years and Jim's lived in Maine almost 15 years now. He loves it and has definitely completed the transition to New Englander (without the accent, but in full beard)

Here's where I feel the need to apologize. I am not a photojournalist. My Dad was, and in fact, if he were still here, I'd call him and say "I get it!" My Dad wasn't really into telling family stories through photography, because it was his profession (and then he went into the photo chemical business)

It takes real planning and dedication to your art to be able to tell a story in photos. I think we did a better job in China, although still not great. I think I prefer to live in the moment than behind the lens. In fact, I had to head to my brother's job the morning we left because I thought we didn't get a photo with him and Kelsey. We weren't able to get even one of Judy. And I feel bad about that because I want photos of Kelsey will all her family members. Judy, I promise next time! :)

We arrived on Sunday evening, spent some time with Judy, Jim and Cassie. Kelsey was first afraid of Cassie, but warmed up quickly and loved her! Jim's remodeled his upstairs bathroom and it is really beautiful! (Jim if you want to send me a photo, I'll post it for my league of readers! ;) We had a great rib dinner and then hung out in the backyard where Kelsey had her first toasted marshmallow, courtesy of the Chiminea!

Jim took a few days off and we set out to see the sights. We took a cruise on his boat, which was originally our father's. Jim's really restored it and loves it. Dad's smiling at how much Jim loves that boat. Kurt, Kelsey, Jim and I headed out on a grey morning to Castine. I've always been a little queasy on that boat, but we didn't go into the ocean, so it was calmer and so was my stomach. Kurt, of course, being a sailor, loved it and Jim allowed him to drive it. Kelsey really didn't enjoy the boat at all. I think she didn't like the life preserver we made her wear and she didn't smile on the boat once. She even fell asleep up and back for part of the trip...which meant she was shutting down because she didn't want to deal.

In Castine, we stopped for lunch. This was about 30 miles south east of where Jim lives. Don't you know he saw an old friend of his on the docks of Castine? How ironic! We had lunch outside and Kelsey shook off her malaise and enjoyed the birds and lunch. That big old seagull in the photos really staked his claim on the pier, he was literally the "cock of the walk" and ate all the leftovers. Of course,you're not supposed to feed the seagulls (so not to encourage them). So we didn't.Then we headed back on the boat.

After going back to Jim's house, we chilled for a bit, then headed off to a kid's museum before going to visit his Mother in law Grace. Grace is a sweetie! We all headed out to this funny restaurant, which is really a truck stop called Dyserts! They made the most delicious lobster bisque and lobster roll I've ever eaten. We all ended the meal with incredible homemade desserts! Maine is famous for its wild blueberries. Everywhere I go in Maine, I try to eat as much lobster and blueberry as I can cram in :)

The next day Jim, Kurt, Kelsey and I headed to Bar Harbor. Bar Harbor is part tourist-y with tons of fun shopping and part incredibly beautiful scenery. I enjoy both, but there's not much hiking we can do with a two year old, so we headed off to some fun shopping and restaurants.

For our final evening in Maine, Jim treated us to his homemade eggplant Parmesan. It was fabulous! As good as our Mom's! and it is my all time favorite food. You will never ever see me order that in a restaurant because no one can make it the way our family likes it (take off the skin please! and don't breadcrumb it, egg and flour it!)

So, that was our trip to Maine. Kelsey did pretty well, thanks to the portable DVD player. Plus, either Kurt or I was in the backseat with her hanging out or entertaining her. She was much better traveler than I thought she'd be.

Enjoy the photos!

JoAnn

http://www.rockyou.com/show_my_gallery.php?source=ppsl&instanceid=81155590

I'm SO FAR Behind in Posts

Okay, I can blame it on my new job status (as in NOT) or the fact that I am really not the SAHM type (I really envy Moms that successfully make this transition...it is FREAKIN' HARD to be the full time Mommy to a toddler. Or I may be lazy. I have great photos and stories that I want to post for Kelsey, lest I forget the details...which may happen, because I am an OSAHM now...I lost my glasses for 2 days (Kurt found them burried in the couch cushions)

Anyway, let's start with our Travel Reunion. It was FABULOUS! Our host family, Kerry, Richard and Alexa outdid themselves. Their home is beautiful and the pool was very refreshing after a long hot drive to Ma. (CT took more than 3 hours to get thru!)

But the best part was the kids. Those little girls who were babies when I last saw them...are now walking talking toddlers with incredible personalities. It brings me to tears to think of it. They are all so happy and so dearly loved by their families. I got to speak to the friends we made on the trip and I wish I had 4 or 5 hours to catch up with everyone. And I am not forgetting those 2 precious baby boys who were 2 when we saw them and are now very very adorable boys. (I have my eye on Andrew for Kelsey! ;)

Everyone played nicely. There were a few meltdowns (after all, the girls are 2!) but all the kids were great! I especially was taken with Addie, who has the most compassionate personality. But Cheyanne has always held a special place in my heart....she is such a dear little girl with an old soul. It was fun to see whose face had changed, who had more hair, who was taller, thinner, and outgoing. And of course my adorable fashionista Emily...who didn't have a nap, yet was a real trooper!

Anyway, Kelsey, you had a great time at this party. You played well, with just a few screams of protest. I expect as these reunions go forward (please!) that they will become as important to you as they are to us...this is your legacy...your orphanage sisters!

Thank you again for your wonderful hospitality Richard, Kerry and darling Alexa!

Sad Commentary Today....

Hi All,


We're back from our travels to MA and ME. I have great photos and stories, which I will post another day.

The topic for today is work....I lost my job today. Not through any fault of my own, I just chose an organization that didn't have its financial act together. I had my hours cut a few weeks ago and realized that I had a short time to look for a new position...but not this short.


Anyway, I am a Marketing Director with over 10 years of experience. I am passionate about what the power of marketing can bring to an organization.



I know that not too many people from NJ hit my blog, but I have to reach out and tell the universe that I am "looking."



Here's Kelsey all stressed out because I told her no more Dora toys until Mommy has a new gig! (joking!)

I appreciate the support!
JoAnn

Happy Birthday Angel Face!

The small photo is the first photo we ever saw of Kelsey, which was taken at 4.5 months old. The Princess Hat photo was taken yesterday, which was Kelsey's 2nd birthday. We had a lot of fun this weekend...

Kelsey's birthday gift was an adorable kitchen...she absolutely loves it!

We took her to the Rainforest Cafe. Kelsey would say she had a great time playing in the giftshop and looking at the fishtanks, but Kurt and I were challenged to keep her at the table.

Yesterday, Kelsey had a fun breakfast, played with her kitchen, watched Dora and then she and I went to the Children's Museum of NJ. I highly recommend checking it out...there was tons of stuff to do and it was all very interactive. Kelsey looooved the trains and the castle and the kitchens with the babies. She took a nice long nap up there and back home. We went to Applebees for lunch and had a great time together. It was nice to have the day with her.

This weekend is her family party....I am beginning to understand that life with a toddler can't be predicted (nice after being a Mom for 15 months I am FINALLY figuring it out!)...and to go with the flow. We've invited some 2 year olds, some 3 year olds and some of our older kids....we'll see how it goes :)

We are very happy with Kelsey's development --she is fairly verbal now with us, she seems to be a very happy child, going through the normal "terrible two's" (no, we didn't escape them) and is very loving. She loves music and also loves to dance. She is a "bit" of a drama queen. We know she is smart...but we're not pushing her.

This is the first week that it's been super hot in NJ. The heat's been brutal, but its supposed to cool off this weekend (thank goodness, with all the people we're going to cram into the house!)

Less than 2 weeks till our Adoption Reunion and Summer Vacation. can't wait!

Happy Birthday Angel Face, Your Mommy and Daddy love you very much!

JoAnn

Leadership and Words to Live By....

Leadership requires:

passion

vison

conviction

mission

trust

faith

inspiration

If you don't have those...what do you have?

Survival

It's a rough road I hoe....but we'll get there..

As for the words to live by...uttered last night by Miss Kelsey herself

"I Love My Daddy!"

Truer words were never spoken and it rocked his world.

full. proper.english. sentences.

She'll be 2 on Monday

We are blessed to raise this amazingly SMART girl!

JoAnn

p.s. I love her Daddy too!

There is NOTHING better in life than a HUG from your child!

I was the receiver of quite a few happy hugs from Miss Kelsey tonight. Mommy needed them too!
This is a photo of Kelsey and our dear friend Lily at Church. Note their happy beaming faces!

Just had to post something happy, because I am crying sad tears tonight for Jim and Colleen at http://www.hannahinchina.blogspot.com/for the loss of their beautiful fur-baby Copper.

I've never met them in person, but have been following their blog for a while and they are using the same agency we did.

Please accept our deepest sorrow for your loss, I know how it feels to love an animal and feel the pain of his or her loss deeply.

Jazzy my baby, tonight I am thinking of you. Will you see that Copper is welcomed with loving open arms in heaven tonight? I miss you often and still call your name...October will be three years you've been gone. You would have been the best big brother to Kelsey and would have loved her very much. She would have loved your big furry mane and swishy tail. Cheyenne misses you too.

We are all better humans for the love and care we give to the animals that share our lives. I hate calling them pets...it trivializes the relationship.

I always said that of course I could adopt a baby because I loved my cats as if they were my children...and all of my cats have been adopted.

JoAnn

A fun and peaceful weekend

Hi All!
The weather all weekend was FABULOUS! Perfect gardening weather, so I indulged on Sat, and spent about 4 hours planting some new flowers, pulling weeds and cleaning up our gardens. I need to recharge our camera battery, but once I do, I'm putting some gardening photos up!

Sat was Kelsey's last Gymboree class until the fall. She loves them, but we really need a break -come Sept we'll be in the later class, which begins at 10:15 (another hour of sleep!)

Sunday was our good friend Rachel's birthday party. We went to her friend Karyn's home in Washington Twnshp and it was great. There were lots of young children for Kelsey to play with and she had a great time. She kept yelling "happy!" all the way home.

We spent a lot of time on our screen porch..it's easily my favorite room in our house in the spring and summer. When we finally do get a chance to move, we'll have to have another porch. Kelsey and the kitties won't forgive us if we don't.

One of my favorite bloggers, Mrs. U. is having a neat contest with lots of cool things to win as her gift to us for her one year anniversary. Her blog is at: http://www.makingahouseahome.blogspot.com/ She promised if we posted her blog on our websites we'd get 2 entries into her contest!

Keep your fingers crossed!
JoAnn

Happy Father's Day!

Yesterday was Kurt's 2nd Father's Day. We had some fun, some tears and enjoyed some food as a family.



The sad part of the weekend was that Kurt's Mom had a heart attack on Wed. She's had her tests and they all came back normal --so they discharged her from the hospital on Sat. She's currently resting and will go back to the Dr. this week for evaluation.



We had a fun time on Sat and Sunday we went to Church for a Strawberry Social...it was fun, but hectic.

The photos above were part of Kurt's gift was that I created a family logo and had it put on 3 t-shirts. One for each of us. We wore them on Sunday and everyone loved them. The tagline of living life to the 9's is because each of us has a 9 in their birthday (4/29 for Kurt, 7/9 for Kelsey and 9/1 for me!) The back of the shirt has the Chinese characters for Joy because Kelsey has brought such joy to our lives.

The photos above were taken at Outback. Kelsey is pleased with herself because she's finagled my raspberry iced tea. Kurt and I were just plain tuckered out.



Open note to my dear husband...


Honey---I know sometimes your girls can be challenging to live with, but there's no one on this planet that really knows my heart and mind better than you do. You are an amazing Daddy to Kelsey and she is thriving in your loving attention. All this girl stuff can't be easy to live with (even our cats are girls) the shoes alone must kill you! You are also a great husband...you are supportive and a lot of fun to hang out with. You always find a way to make our dreams come true and you are steadfast in your belief that there is good in the world. I respect and admire you more than I can say.



I always tell Kelsey that I looked long and hard to find her the best Daddy in the world and we were lucky to find you!


Love always,
Your Girls!

How Much Fun Can One Baby Have?

Answer: So much, yet not enough!
So much that I will bullet point them...

• Daddy came home late Thursday evening to a delighted Wife and Daughter


• When Kelsey woke up Friday am, she was beyond thrilled to see Daddy sleeping in bed


• Daddy and Daughter had a play at the park afternoon and had a great time!


• Giggles over dinner and an early bedtime


• Breakfast this am and Gymboree for Daddy and Daughter (Mommy has a little cold and stayed home)


• We took Kelsey to the town street fair where she:


• ate chilli


• petted goats, lambs and ducks


• rode a real horse like she was born in the saddle, completely unafraid! (silly Mommy forgot to bring the camera)


• ate a smoothie, a funnel cake and an ice cream cone


• got a Chihuahua purse (she picked it herself!)


• got an adorable name bracelet/anklet


• Then we came home and she took a 2 hour nap with Daddy


• went to Dave's BBQ restaurant - our first time. YUM!


• then we went to a local amusement park, Bowcraft. She loved it! All except for the carousel ride, which she loved until it began, then she was frightened. Kelsey and Daddy rode trains, helicopters and monster cars with joy. Mommy remembered the camera, so here are a few shots.

So much fun...what will Sunday bring?

Congratulations to the New Mommies and Daddies!

It's referral time in China adoption-land. All over the world, agencies have received referrals of beautiful baby girls and boys and have given the good news to their thrilled Mommies and Daddies!

I will never ever forget the excitment of the day we received our referral for Huai Shuang, now Kelsey Frances Shuang. (See Jan 25th posting for the blow-by-blow)

Sweet days like this make me long to be in the adoption mix again...And Kelsey has been really great the last two nights and sleeping like a champ!

Days like Monday when our adorable girl threw all her dinner on the floor in a tantrum and was pissy all evening made me doubt I have any patience left to be a Mommy and I was SO happy to only have one child. That was one sticky icky mess!

Even the weather is perfect today...the sky is blue and it's sunny, but cool in the low '70's. I wish I was gardening today!

Kurt will be home this evening after almost 2 weeks on the road (he came home on the weekend). We miss him dreadfully and honestly, I need a parenting break! Kelsey wanted him last night and was calling Dada up the stairs, so I made her climb them to see if he was there. She was disappointed that he wasn't, but we changed into PJ's and snuggled and she went down to sleep at 8pm. Mommy fell asleep at 8:30 (told you I need a break!)

Take care and congratulations again to the new families!
JoAnn

What Was She Thinking?

This post isn't just about Kelsey....Just a whole bunch of random thoughts that have been circling my mind lately....

1) I spent 2 hours at the DMV inspections this afternoon. During that time I encountered....

a) a parent who brought her 2 year old adorable daughter with her without snacks, drinks or toys to play with. The poor kid was acting up because she was bored. When I started talking to the little girl, her mother called her "bad!" Talk about a self-fulfilling prophesy! Luckily for the Mom, I always have a few toys in my purse for Kelsey and let her little one read a book while we waited for our cars. Oh, and Mom of the year's battery went dead during the inspection and asked ME if I could jump her....Sorry I am not prepared for all on the road situations!

b) Another family who brought their 18 month old son clad only in his diaper. Yes, it was hot about 88 degrees. But if it's 110 in the shade, I would never dress Kelsey in only her diaper in public! Why would a family even bring their child to an inspection station? That's one place that if you have the option....take the poor baby someplace else while YOU go. (Kelsey was at daycare while I was at inspection)

2) Kelsey has a temper. I realize that all children do, but apparently, she likes to wail on one little boy in particular. Poor Sweet Garrett! His Crime? Not giving her a ball or a watering can she wanted. 2 weeks ago she bit him on his stomach. No blood was drawn. Today she scratched him and drew blood. I was horrified/mortified when her sitter told me this. Garrett is fine, and we waited for his Mommy so I could apologize to her too. Kelsey did say she was sorry and gave him a hug, but she doesn't understand what this means yet, she only did this because I prompted her and she was the center of attention. This is an important lession I need to teach her, but I need to see it myself so I can catch her in the act. Her sitter says all kids act this way, but Kelsey's targeting one child and one spot on his body...What is she thinking? She can be the sweetest child in the world...just don't cross her... We did have a conversation about this in the bathtub this evening. I need to watch this behavior like a hawk.

3) People go out of their way to be silly for my child's amusement. It's like living with a Rock Star....she has quite the entourage where ever we go. Two men at Applebees were ridiculously silly in their attempts to make her smile. Sweet, but definately not necessary, as we had apple juice, broccoli and ice cream as part of the meal.

4) Kurt's been away in Chicago this week and she's asking for him. Last night she pulled off a photo of us from the bookshelf and said "Dada" and kissed it. So sweet!

5) I've spent every moment since Saturday either shopping, doing home improvement or gardening. I"ve had a few days off from work and am supposed to go back tomorrow, but I haven't finished one project yet, so I'm taking the morning to complete it and working from home. Gotta love flex schedules!

6) Poor Kelsey had a fun, but hazardous weekend. It started Friday with a fall at the sitter's and she had an egg on her forehead and a scrape under her nose. Saturday, she was playing in her beloved water table while Mommy did some gardening and was bitten a few times by mosquitos. Sunday am, the bites were inflamed, angry and raised. I was going to call the dr, but a girlfriend told me her daughter has the same condition...an allergy to mosquitos. Yikes. Hopefully she'll outgrow that. I've put benydrill lotion on it and the bites are definately getting smaller and less red/angry. Finally on Monday, Tana (our white deaf kitty) chomped down on her wrist and delivered 2 puncture wounds. Kelsey didn't really deserve this...but Tana is a little more skittish being deaf, Kelsey does sneak up on her and tick her off. Kelsey just loves petting the cats and doesn't understand the back off signals yet. She was sitting with me on the couch watching TV and Tana came over to me wanted a snuggle, Kelsey wanted to pet her and Tana didn't want her to. Kelsey is fine, the wound was tiny and not a drop of blood was raised...I washed it with antibacterial soap and put a bandaid on it. They are practically invisible now. Things really do come in 3's.

On the plus side, she saw her "beloved" Jake be confirmed and got to jump on a trampoline for the first time. She also doesn't love slip n slides (good!)because she got water in her face.

The photos above are Kelsey and her cousin Marina at Marina's First Holy Communion. Marina looked beautiful and did a great job! I can't believe she's getting so big! (and NO, the woman in the pink shirt is NOT me!)

Kelsey's been fighting going to bed lately. Kurt's decided to extend her bedtime half an hour to 45 minutes. The past few nights have been hard, but tonight at 8:45 she went down like an angel. Whew!

JoAnn

Kelsey's Opinion of Mother's Day

Kelsey is a big fan of Mother's Day. Especially because I told Kurt that I didn't need a gift and wanted to buy her a slide for the backyard. We found a wonderful one at TRU and then picked up a water table. The water table ranks very high in our house...Kelsey loves hers!

We saw my Mom, and my Sister's family on Saturday and spent Sunday with Kurt's Mom and family, because we had a lot to celebrate. I'll post family photos later on in the week....I just want these really cute photos of Kelsey to sit by themselves for a bit.

I took them all, but I'd have to say I'm particularly proud of the one of her on the slide against the trees...I think my Dad would like that one too! :)

BTW, my event was well received and everyone had a great time. And I did get my life back and am enjoying a few days off!

Overworked, Overfed, Over-tired, and Undernourished

Hey All,
The good news is that I should have my life back on Friday. The TWIN award event that I've spent the past 5 months of my career on is over on Thursday evening and so should the late 2am evenings and weekends spent working on this project. I am taking a few days off after this project is over...and I can't wait!

The bad news? I'm a cranky woman. That's saying it nicely. You know the old adage "if Momma ain't happy, no one is?" All too true right now. :(

Kelsey is not sleeping on schedule right now - some nights she goes down happily at 8pm and sleeps til 7am and some days she screams till 10pm and wants to sleep until 9am! Oy! Tonight, however, she told me (in words!) that she's scared of dark and wants the lights on. Interesting, huh? Friday and Saturday were baaaad and Sunday isn't going well either. It's challenging to coordinate visits and family with her sleep patterns. It's unfair any way you look at this.

Honestly? All I want to do is be left alone in peace and quiet to do this work and eat chocolate. Unfortunately life doesn't work like that. And when I try to have a semblance of a normal life? Cranky woman comes roaring out.

Cats are shedding like mad and puking....cleaning woman is wonderful but does not put my stuff back where it should be! My Mother's Helper hasn't been available for a few weeks. I did get a chance to get my hair cut and colored....I like it, but don't love it yet. The guy is coming first week of June to finish repairing our door, but he overcharges like mad (thanks State Farm! GRRRRRR!) I haven't spoken to my brother in over a month, and my sister isn't the happiest with me either.

Guys I know I suck right now....I'm sorry but I am overwhelmed and have been trying my best.

Feel sorry for Kurt right now. He's bearing the brunt of this big time. He takes care of Kelsey and has been doing most of the cooking/shopping, etc. At least he gets to leave next week for 5 days....

Next year I'll know how to do this better...this compressed timeline is for the birds!

What I am fantasizing about....
powerwashing our screen porch and hanging out there
planting spring flowers and rummaging through a nursery or 2
painting the floor of our back porch
getting a full fence for the backyard and cutting down a few "bad" trees
reading a magazine for pleasure.

One of the ways that I feel best about myself is when I am able to be creative. This means writing, crafting, gardening, even organizing and decorating. Lately all my time has been spent working, unloading the dishwasher (I feel chained to the kitchen lately) or trying to satisfy everyone else...I have spent very little time nourishing my inner self and it shows :(

Friday is our 10th wedding anniversary. I wish I could say we have big plans, but Kurt and I do intend to put Kelsey in daycare part of the day and have a nice lunch together...the first time we've had a meal without her since we became a family. I think this is sad...10 years is a big milestone for us...it should be celebrated as such, but we just don't have the time/availability.

Hope your week is shaping up better!
JoAnn

Back to Sunshine and Roses!

Hey All,
One of my Panda Sisters asked if we wanted to participate in a video she was making of all our girls from referral to one year anniversary.

These are families whose documents were all sent to China in April 2005. We all received referrals of our children and traveled within 1-2 months of each other. This amazing group of women (and a few daddies too!) still correspond daily on a variety of topics and I thoroughly enjoy being an April Panda!

Well, here it is and it's wonderful! We love it so much!
Thank you Margie, you are amazing!

Don't forget, Kelsey is from Hunan Province and is in the first half of the video, but watch the whole thing. It will make your day! And the music is fabulous!

Kelsey is much better now, she's back to her wonderfully happy (eating, sleeping and drinking) self! It did her the world of good to stay home with me yesterday. It did me the world of good too. I wish we could make that a permanent situation, but its not in our cards.

Love,

JoAnn

Aw....&$&)*#^)*#^!

One of the bloggers that I love to read (Sandra at The Daily Grind or Jazzie and Tahlia) wrote a posting a few days ago on how many of the bloggers out here write as if their lives are all sunshine and roses. I've probably been guilty as charged because I don't really write this for myself, as much I do for Kelsey in the future.





However, Kelsey got sick on Friday night, first with fever and no sleep for any of us, and then she began to scream everytime she tried to eat and/or drink something.


And Saturday night....no fever, but the screaming was insane! no sleep for any of us...
We all slept on the couches because we were considering rushing her to the emergency room (cue freaked out Mom cursing out the 411 chick for being slow giving me the phone number!)

We did take her to an emergency care clinic and the Dr. said she didn't have cocksackie. Idiot! She was fussy, cranky and ate and drank a little. But she didn't sleep again on Sunday night, so no sleep for any of us again!



So 3 days, 3 different doctors and we finally know what's going on...Coxsackie virus. Insidious bug of a virus causes sores and such pain when a child eats or drinks. I hate that friggin' thing for the pain it has caused my child. Luckily she seems to have a milder case than most, doesn't have it on her hands or feet, and she is eating soft cold foods and drinking some. Some kids absolutely refuse to eat or drink and become dehydrated.



And she's contagious, so no daycare tomorrow. I had to take her daycare today, which means I exposed 5 other kids to this...I"d hate me if I were those kids' Moms. :(



I'm tired and stressed out. So is Kurt. Hopefully this damned virus will be gone in a few days.
Last week was challening at work. I've been putting in almost 50 hour weeks, so I really was looking forward to this past weekend. We had so many fun plans for Kelsey. We had to scrap everything to try to catch up on our sleep. That really sucked wind.

It's really sad to look forward to Monday at work to get some peace while your poor hurting daughter goes to daycare for a few hours.



So no sunshine and roses here tonight. Just the raw pain our baby girl has been feeling. I would trade everything in life to have it be me instead of her. I think she's feeling a little better this evening because she's actually been sleeping since 8:30pm and she played for a bit tonight. Say a prayer that the worst is over and she's on the road to recovery.

The photo above is her on a better day about 2 weeks ago.
JoAnn

Happy Birthday Jimmy!

I'll write a happy birthday post to my DH this weekend. We were crazy busy last weekend, which was his actual birthday.

Today is my baby brother's birthday. This year both Jimmy and now our sister Janet have joined me in our "fabulous"decade. As I've mentioned, Jimmy and his wife Judy live in Maine and love beauty and the slower pace of life there.

We love Maine too, it's just 9 1/2 hours drive so we don't get there very often.

I was 5 and wanted a brother or sister very badly. Finally when my parents told me I was FINALLY going to be a "big sister" everyone asked me if I wanted a brother or a sister. I, in my adorable-ness, said I really wanted a monkey or a gorilla.

I was in Mrs. Patterson's kindergarten class and my Father came in and told me that I had a baby brother. I remember Mrs. Patterson writing on the blackboard that I had a brother and that I was a big sister. I remember feeling so proud that day as I played around the room, I kept stealing looks at the blackboard to see my name and the word "sister!"

Jimmy was named after our grandfather, who unfortunately, passed away a few days after he was born. My Grandpa's name was Vincent and his nickname was Jimmy, so my parents named him James Vincent. I've always thought it was a beautiful name. I was always a little jealous that Jimmy was the only child to get a middle name.

I've always found my brother to be quite interesting....he has some hobbies that are similar to mine (reading) and completely different (scuba diving and boating!). He's a wonderful cook and a home-improvement DYI guy. (The home improvement talent he inherited from our Dad.) Jimmy's very into health and is determined to live a long and healthy life.

Jimmy became a "grandpa" at 35! One of his stepsons had kids early in life so Grandpa Jim was born! :)

I don't have any really good photos of Jimmy, so unfortunately the one I'm posting today is extremely blurry. I have asked him to send me some and maybe this will force him to do so!

So, Happy Birthday Jimmy!

Eat some chocolate for us!

Love,

JoAnn, Kurt and Kelsey

Onto Happier Topics...PLEASE!

In real life and Bloggyland, life is quieter and sadder. Lots of things going on in the world and I just don't want to express my opinions on them quite yet.

Hey, its SPRING and finally getting warm, so except for one sad comment below, I am going to move onto happier topics.

Kurt's Uncle Arch in CA passed away last Friday afternoon after a battle with diabetes related health issues. He was a lovely man who has a wife, 4 daughters and tons of grandkids who will miss him and love him very much. My MIL and his sisters Jane, Fem and Gloria are very sad, so please say a prayer for him when you can.

Okay, I promised some good news...Kelsey's doing well on the talking front...here are some of her words she uses properly:

Dada
Momma
Lola (her Grandmother)
rock
byebye
Hi
Hold
up
down
yes (and nods well too)
no (and shakes her head well too)
house
Tana (cat's name)
Chey (for Cheyenne our other cat's name)
Sarah (babysitter's daughter)
Mac (daycare friend)
out
book
chick
LOOK! (said just like that!)
Woof (when you ask her what the puppydog says)
Meow (when you ask her what the kitty says)
Go
Car
Truck
Cracker and many more that I can't recall!

We are beginning to work on the alphabet and counting. She loves being outside and playing in her sandbox and on the swings in the park.

I haven't posted photos in a while, here are some new ones we took with the new camera. I really like using the new one (Sony Cybershot).

End April, and all of May is very busy for us, we are planning for:
Kurt's birthday on Sunday 4/29
Big work event on 5/2
Mother's Day (my 2nd!)
Our niece Marina's First Holy Communion
The Church School Confirmation Class is being confirmed
Our good friend Jake is being confirmed in that class (and perhaps the love of Kelsey's life! :) and is having a party
Another Big Work Event
Our Anniversary (10!!!!)
Also, BIL and SIL are celebrating their first wedding anniversary too! (okay, Kelsey wants some more cousins, can you start crackin' on that now please? :)

One of my fellow adoptive Moms from our China April group put together a very moving montage of our girls and their referral and one year home photos. It's very moving and the music and scenery makes me cry. We are working on allowing it on my blog, so as soon as it's approved, I'll insert in here.

p.s. How can you NOT feel happy when you see these photos of Kelsey? Her joy is infectious! (the 2nd photo is her rockin' out in gymboree)
JoAnn

Ugh! This is not a happy post!

Okay, I work for a non-profit that helps assist low income and needy families. In an urban community that is very close to our home.

2 months ago, my offices were broken into. My colleagues had their computers and personal equipment stolen. Luckily for me, I take my laptop home every day. But it was heartbreaking and left us feeling violated.

It happened again on Wed! However this was an inside job this time. My office was broken into and nothing of mine was taken...but we keep money in a locked filing cabinet and that was taken. Again...violated feelings...

So what happened today? I left my office at 12:30 to go get candy for Kelsey's Easter basket and grab lunch. Had a meeting at 2:30 and came back to my office at 3pm. About 3:20 my sister called and said that MY HOUSE was broken into and my alarm company had called. Now we have had false alarms (cats) but she said there was a smashed window.

I grabbed my computer and ran out the door downstairs and jumped into my car. I ran every stop sign and red light. My only thought was thank god Kelsey was safe at daycare, but I was crying thinking the cats were either dead or gone.

Let me say...we were VERY VERY lucky! I always set our alarm and that really saved us. The only single thing taken was our digital camera (the one piece of equipment that I use constantly) No TV, stereos or jewlery was taken. The robber didn't even have time to mess up the house because the alarms were going off.

The thing that's really ticked us off is that our screen porch door was slashed and our one of the windows of french door off the screen porch was smashed. I handpainted those windows using leaded glass paint and they were really lovely. JERK!

The police officer was really nice, secured the house and walked through everything with me. He assured me that this was someone looking for quick small stuff to grab and pawn for drug money. Also found out the guy across the street is a cop in the next town over. He saw the guy and called it in. So he may be caught. CREEP!

Our insurance co was good too, except it is hard to get someone to come out and fix glass late. They boarded up the door with plywood so it feels okay. I'm not as weirded out as i thought I'd be. Kurt's home so I feel safe and he's not going to sleep upstairs until the door is fixed. I'm staying home tomorrow so hopefully we'll have a repaired door this weekend. Not sure, because this is Easter weekend, but we'll see.

Anyway, no photos because no camera...I'll be looking for a new one tomorrow. Kelsey is sleeping safely in bed besides me...what an angel :)

Let me just end this not so nicely and say to the creep that violated our house...hope you enjoyed the drugs you bought with the money you got for pawning my camera. What kind of PIG goes into someone's home and paws through their stuff and violates their child's bedroom? You absolute creep....I hope the drugs kill you sooner than later. You'll get your punishment in the afterlife, if the cops don't catch you first. (Nothing of Kelsey's was taken, but just the idea that he went into her room....sickens me)

Photos...

I took Kelsey to the Picture People in BW. As you can see from the expressions on her face, she had a great time. The photographers really know how to capture a baby's joy! We loved the photos and are thrilled to share them with you all. Enjoy!

Happy Birthday Janet!

My Sister Janet is very special to me. She's a confidant, friend, co-conspiritor, touchstone, yardstick. Someone that knows all the good and bad things about my life from when we were very small and loves me anyway. I consider myself very lucky that I am the ONE person in the world that is HER sister!

Janet is one of my role models for Moms because even tho' she's my BABY sister by quite a few years, she had definate goals on becoming a Mom and did it young. She and my BIL Michael have been happily married for 17 years and have 3 wonderful kids, Alyssa, Mike and Marina.

So, Janet, have a wonderful birthday. You are a terrific, beautiful person, sister and friend! Welcome to the forever 29 club!

All my love,
JoAnn

One Year Ago Today....

Our lives changed dramatically on March 28, 2006. The most perfect baby girl was placed in Kurt's arms and life began as a family of 3.

So much emotion...so much has changed. We are loving life and our happy family. A picture is worth a thousand words, so here is our year in photos. Enjoy!

Happy Valentine's Day to All!

The ice storms have hit NJ hard! Valentine's Day will be held at home...that's okay, better to be cozy and warm in our own lovely home than face the ice and snow going to dinner!

Kelsey has quite a few valentine's surprises waiting for her! Plus, this weekend is shaping up to be EXCELLENT all the way around!

1) Lola is coming to visit us on Friday evening, she's leaving for the Philippines to visit the family on Saturday.

2) Jim and Judy are coming from Maine for a visit! (FYI, Jim is my baby brother!) Our whole family will gather at our house this weekend (Casa Hoppe is smack in the middle!). It's so rare that we all get together...should be a fun time!

3) Sunday is Chinese New Year and we are planning a celebration, our first as a family!

4) Kurt and I both took President's Day off from work and will plan something fun with Kelsey (we're thinking a children's museum)

Happy Valentine's Day, dear readers, I hope you get flowers, candy and something sparkly to enjoy!

Love and Keep Warm!

JoAnn, Kurt and Kelsey

Some miscellaneous photos from the past several weeks

Kelsey eating her 18month birthday cupcake
Having a Tea Party with Daddy















Playing house in the living room (notice the cool sock monkey PJ's? Tarjay!)


Someone needs her bangs trimmed! :)

Referral Days Make Me Want to Adopt Again!

Hi All,
Yesterday China's last batch of referrals (babies) were delivered to all the new Mommies and Daddies who have been waiting over a year to see their bundles of joy's faces.

I love these days (once a month) and eagerly read about everyone's new babies. Many of the families who were in the same DTC group (April 2005) that I was are already in the process of another adoption.

Every time I hear about another "friend" adopting or see these angelic faces, it makes me REALLY want to start that process all over again.

Luckily for me, my smarter more rational husband has put the brakes on this for the time being. We are thrilled beyond belief to be parents finally. We love and adore our beautiful daughter, but raising a child takes a lot of work! More than anyone can really put into words (good thing "they" can't tell you how much you will love that child too!) plus I don't think Kelsey is a difficult child to raise (except for her ability to wake up at midnight wanting to snuggle with us!)

We are not in ready in many ways to begin this process again. It will take a lot of discussion before we make a rational decision one way or the other. Do we give her a sibling? There is no guarantee if having a brother or sister will be good for her. Some bio siblings are close and some are not. Some are downright disfunctional.

I consider this from only my own perspective. I would be a much sadder person if I were an only child. Even though there is a big age difference between my sister and brother and I, we are extremely close. My brother lives in Maine and we only see each other yearly, we are still close (and have become closer by blogging to each other!)

One of the most important ways that siblings can help each other is dealing with the aging parent, sick or dying parent. I am 44 years older than my daughter (I know I don't look it! :) and she may be younger than normal when she loses me or her father. I don't want her to feel lost and orphaned all over again! A sibling that she is close to would help. It really helped for me that Jim, Janet and I were there for each other when our Father died, even though we are all married to wonderfully supportive spouses, there is no one like a sibling to help you through that grief. Plus remembering all those good stories when you were kids is impossible without one!

If I were in my mid 30's or even 40, I would easily be able to wait to see if Kelsey even wants a sibling...but my adoptive "clock" is ticking loudly and I know we'll have to make this decision within the next two years.

Kelsey, when you read this in the future, let me know if we made the right choice by you :)

Another thing to consider is the idea that we could move to a town with a better school system that has a larger backyard for Kelsey to play in. Financially it would be challenging to move and adopt within a 2-3 year time period. I have a feeling we'll have to choose one or the other.

However, things could change for us...we could win the lottery, allowing us to adopt a few more children (and hire a Nanny!) and move to a great big house in a fantastic neighborhood! I feel strange praying to God for financial blessings...it seems greedy, even though the cause behind it isn't. Time will tell in the next few years what's in the cards for our family.

As long as I am pipe-dreaming....we would definately want either China or Viet Nam for adoption #2 (I've aged out of the Philippine program already :(

I have been thinking of a sweet, cuddly baby boy lately. We might call him William, Liam for short. Or another baby girl, a sister for our Angel Face would also be lovely. Ava seems to be the Jennifer name of 2007 and I do like that name...or we could stay with the K names...

Kylie, Kendra, Katie Kaya?

Hey, did you know that both Kurt and I have Grandmothers named Rose? (His maternal and my paternal) All those baby girl names would go great with Rose :)

Life is good if this is all I have to worry about! Our jobs are going well, we treated ourselves to new bedroom furniture and I love our new mattress set!

Kelsey, of course, is doing so well. She is so much fun to come home to everynight! She is a book junkie and loves to "read" quite a few every day. She has more stuffed dog toys than I have earrings! (that's saying a lot!) Other than the normal daycare "runny nose" she's very healthy.

She's really picking up new words quickly. Once she got the walking stuff down pat, she dove into talking. And her voice is so sweet!

We are beginning to make plans for our first Valentine's Day together and also our first Chinese New Year celebrations! We have some great firsts/anniversaries on deck :)

I was thinking today that for the first time since Kurt and I decided to get engaged, we are no longer working on a major life goal...we married, have a house, finally have a child, I changed jobs last year...so I should be able to kick back, count my many blessings and enjoy this time.

We'll see :)

p.s. Jimmy, we will definately be coming to Maine in late spring/early summer!
Love,
JoAnn

One Year Ago Today....

11:30 am came the phone call that would change our lives forever!

Phone: Ring!

Me (caller ID) Laura? (SW)

Laura: (teasing me and matching my intonation) JoAnn?

Me: News?

Laura: Referral!

I was able to conference Kurt in on the line and we got the news that we were matched to a baby girl who was born on 7/9/05 and was currently living in the Huai Hua SWI in Hunan Province. We would most likely travel in March. There were 19 other families in our travel group. Her name was Huai Shuang and it was reported she was healthy.

Now, I have to tell you that my brain basically stopped working once Laura told us we had a baby girl. I couldn't even tell you how old she was! (I had to get a co-worker to figure that out for me!) 6.5 months at referral! :) I was in shock that this day had finally come (although I knew it was coming!) and that she was so young! AND she was from the province I always secretly wanted her to be in... Ever since I'd heard of the tales of the "spicy" Hunan girls I've always thought it would be cool to have my own Hunan Spice Girl.

My agency is rather old fashioned and does not email baby's information or Fed Exp it to you. What they do is translate everyone's information and send it to their offices. You then make an appointment to go over every bit of paper they give you and this is when you see your child's photo for the first time. (BTW, I knew this all along and was perfectly okay with it. I needed a few days to digest all the good news coming our way!)

So, Huai Shuang was our baby and she was young and in the province I've wanted her to be in. But what did she look like? What would we call her? We had a few names we liked (I liked, anyway, Kurt wasn't quite sure) and would choose her name based on her photos. We finally saw her face on the following Tuesdsay.

I didn't care if I thought she was beautiful... I practiced saying "I don't care what she looks like, she's mine! and she'll grow to be beautiful! (I didn't have much hope that God would give us a young, perfectly healthy, great province BEAUTIFUL child.) That was asking too much. But my Angels in Heaven were looking out for us (Thanks Daddy and Dad!) .

And this is who we saw....Kelsey!

Kelsey, this wasn't love at first sight...we loved you the second we heard you were ours...one year ago today! (yes, Mommy is crying, but they are great big happy tears!)

How Much Do I Love My Husband?

My husband, Kurt, is a reader of this blog. I have invited him to actively participate in writing it, but I think he's going to do his own thing. I really can't wait, because he's an amazing writer.

I know I've created this blog primarily for our Kelsey, but Kelsey should also know how much I love and adore her Daddy too. In honor of that and as a pre-Valentine suprise I dedicate this posting to the love of my life, Kurt. We will be married 10 years in May, so here are 10 things I love about him!

1. I never know what he's thinking about. The other day he was sitting on the stairs with a "I'm thinking about something" look on his face. I asked him what he was thinking about and he smiled mysteriously. He doesn't always tell me :)


2. He is amazing with Children! Every child, not just Kelsey!


3. He knows a great deal about most things. If I have a problem or a question...he is my go-to guy.


4. He has a fantastic memory! (okay, sometimes this doesn't work in my favor, but I appreciate the effort!)


5. Kurt is thoughtful. He never says something he doesn't mean. And he's always truthful too.


6. I can tell him what I need...sometimes it's just someone to listen OR pick up the baby OR give me 15 minutes of silence...and he listens.


7. He shares baby duties with me. Kurt takes his turns at diaper changes, feeding, bathing and dressing. He is a hands on parent.


8. He's funny. Not in a joke telling way...but in a silly way. We laugh a lot!


9. When something is important to me, he listens and tries to figure out a way to make it happen.


10. He is such a good person. He tries every day to do the right thing. He is a much kinder person than I am. He is polite and has excellent manners.

Notice, I kept these to the inside of my darling hubby, not the outside. Let's just say I think he's wrapped up in a completely adorable package! Tall, dark and handsome is how I describe him. He looks great in a tux or a sweatshirt or a Kings outfit!

I have been thrilled to be with him from the moment he showed up at my door with a dozen red roses on our first date in 1995!

p.s. Kelsey, one of the reasons I wanted to name you Kelsey is because it began with "K" for your Daddy!

To answer my own question...how much do I love my husband? A lot! To China and back! :)Here are the two most beautiful and important people in my life...

To Huai Shuang's Biological Mommy

Dear Mama,

Today our daughter turns 18 months old! Here in the US there is much rejoycing and happiness over this small milestone, but I wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you today.

First of all, I want to say publicly in cyberspace, thank you from the bottom of my heart (and Kurt's too!) for the gift of this amazing child. We named her Kelsey Frances Shuang and we love and cherish her deeply.

Kelsey is very healthy, smart and happy. You took very good care of her and I want to assure you that we plan to do the same for the rest of her life.

Our entire family, group of friends and community have embraced this lovable child. It really does take that village to raise a child. Our girl is warm, friendly and outgoing. She loves being out and about and has been that way since the day we became a family.

Kelsey has been walking independently for the last month, and shows great balance and natural grace. She is also a great climber and fearless in her quest to reach everywhere! She balances this fearlessness with her affectionateness. She is a snuggler and a huggy-kissy girl.

To our amusement, Kelsey has started to be really affectionate with her boy friends at daycare. She tempers her kisses with high-five fests, thank goodness!

We know that you passed to our girl quite a few gifts.

The easiest to see is that she is a beauty. Her eyes shine and sparkle. Her hair is dark brown and super straight and shiny. She has perfect skin and a rosebud mouth. She is slender and well portioned and has long slender fingers.

Kelsey is also really smart. She says a few words and know what we mean when we speak to her. She also knows what she wants and how to get most of it. She (I guess like most babies) is a creature of habit and prefers certain kinds of cookies and a specific cup for her juice.

She is adventureous! She is a great eater, there is nothing that she won't try at least once! She enjoys going different places and meeting people. She likes to check out the nooks and crannies of our home and loves holding things.

Kelsey enjoys nature... She loves puppy dogs and when she sees one she says "woof!" This is too cute. She also loves our cats (the "ga's") and is learning to "pet them nicely" and she is also amused by fish. She loves looking at the squirels in our neighborhood and also at the trees. Every walk she takes she comes home with leaves. I can't wait to see her expression when she sees all the flowers in our gardens this spring and summer!

She's also independent. And stubborn. These will take her places in life, but right now can be quite challenging. These "gifts" have shown me that I have much more patience than I ever realized.

I also want to make an open promise to you that we will do our very best to raise our girl to be a wonderful, joyful human being. She will have a good education, and be able to follow her own interests - whatever they may be. We will raise her to respect the choice you made and if someday somehow the two of you are able to meet, we will support her in this quest as well. She will understand that she is a very fortunate girl to have 2 sets of parents that loved her and wanted the best life possible for her.

She will visit China in the future and our hope is to show her how beautiful the world is.

We thank you and wish you peace and love and happiness. I dearly hope to meet you one day in person...maybe when our first grandchild is born.

Love,

Huai Shuang's Adoptive Mommy, JoAnn